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Former porn site developer now ministers via Internet
By Lonnie Wilkey - July 25,
2005
NEWPORT, Tenn.
(BP)--It took a broken heart for Michele Washam
to finally realize that she was breaking the
hearts and lives of countless women.
In 1995 while living in Delaware, Washam
designed what may have been one of the first
“ladies only” adult pornographic websites,
Just4Ladies.com.
That site still exists 10 years later, but with
a new focus —- Jesus Christ.
Washam, who now serves as the secretary for West
End Baptist Church in Newport, Tenn., is not
proud of the fact she designed several adult
websites. She readily admits she was not
“addicted” to pornography. For her, it was all
about money.
“It was a huge industry at the time,” she
recalled. “My income was incredible -- an
average of about $24,000 a week.”
Washam said that though she felt some guilt --
being raised by devout Catholic parents, she
knew better -- the money kept her from pulling
the plug on her lucrative website.
She realized that what she was doing was
destroying the family values she cherished.
Still, the money was hard for her to give up.
It finally took a major, life-changing event
“for me to realize I needed to change,” Washam
said.
Washam, who had
three children from a prior marriage, had been
engaged for three years to a man she loved very
much. Out of the blue he called her one day and
told her he did not love her and was leaving.
“I had the rug pulled out from under me,” said
Washam, who readily admits she considered
suicide.
One day, while walking alone on a Florida beach
and looking out over the ocean, Washam “called
out to God and He answered.”
“I said, God if you’re really there, please
help. Instantly I felt Him plant seeds of faith
in my heart. I knew instantly He was going to
help me,” Washam said.
She also knew that if she was going to ask God
for something she needed to do something in
return. “I immediately took down my porn site
and refunded thousands of dollars,” she said.
Washam is convinced now more than ever of the
evil of pornography and the need to protect
one’s home from it. She’s remorseful that she
helped contribute to people’s addiction to
pornography, but she has turned it all over to
God.
“I have forgiven myself because I know the Lord
has forgiven me and I am doing my best to make
up for it,” Washam said.
Washam’s former porn site now offers hope and
encouragement to both women and men who have
been hurt through broken relationships.
She noted the site is “dedicated to helping men
and women cope with, overcome, survive and
restore their broken hearts by combining faith
in God and knowledge of His word.”
Washam has designed a workshop which includes
her book, "A Course in Heartbreak," and she
recently launched HeartbreakUniversity.org where
she shares the course with men and women around
the world.
“Women’s [and men’s] hearts break the same, no
matter where they live,” Washam observed.
In addition to teaching online classes, Washam
also writes an “advice” column on the web. She
is careful to point out she is not a counselor.
The book and online/live course are elements of
her website that are fee based, but she does
waive the cost of the book when there is a real
need.
“It’s God’s book, not mine,” she said.
At the height of her pornography career, Washam
had about 7,000-7,500 paid members. About 1,200
of those have since signed onto the Christian
site, which has grown from 12 members to about
57,000. There is no charge for membership to the
Christian site.
Washam estimates she has about three million
“hits” (people who go to the site) each month.
The hits have doubled in the last six months,
she said.
The underlying theme of the site is to “reach
people by getting them to look up,” Washam said.
“I can’t solve their problems and I don’t want
them to think I can. Little by little I
introduce them to God and gently guide them
through the Gospel.”
The site includes information on how to be saved
and helps lead a person through a prayer of
salvation. Washam also follows up on those
decisions and tries to help the individuals find
a church home.
Washam is driven by the desire to use the pain
of her broken relationship to help others. “If I
had not had my heart broken, I could not help
others the way I do now,” she said.
“I like knowing that my pain was not in vain --
that I am helping someone else.”
Washam’s story gets even better. She eventually
met her husband, Michael Washam, who she
lovingly describes as her “angel from heaven.”
“He is very supportive and helps me with my
ministry,” she said.
Looking back she realizes now that God does not
choose the wrong mate for people.
“We do. We have to ask God into our situation
and when we are in communion with Him, I believe
He will send the right mate.”
Last year the Washams decided to move to
Newport.
A lifelong Catholic, Washam never dreamed of
attending a Baptist church. Her husband, who was
raised as a Baptist, convinced her to at least
attend West End in Newport, Tenn., just once.
She recalled that when they drove up to the
church she had made up her mind “to hate it.”
“[But] I walked through the door and knew I had
found my church home. I never looked back,” she
said.
“God definitely has a sense of humor,” she said,
smiling. She jokes that at times she still
“slips” and calls her pastor, Tom Mooty, “Father
Tom” instead of “Bro. Tom.”
Mooty baptized Washam. In the days that followed
all three of her children professed faith in
Christ and were baptized as well. Both Washam
and her husband began to get involved with the
church, and he is now serving as youth director.
Michele became the church secretary this summer.
“The church needed a secretary and I needed
something to do,” she said, laughing. “It’s not
a job. I have gotten more from here than I could
describe."
For more information about Washam’s ministry go
to her website, Just4Ladies.com or call
423-623-9056.
--30--
Wilkey is editor of the Tennessee Baptist and
Reflector, online at www.tnbaptist.org/BRNews.asp
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